the to do list

to do list

Ahhhhhh…that is me breathing a very deep sigh that my day has finally calmed down.  Yep you guessed it, my kids are finally in bed.  Today and the past week or so have been so up and down for me.  I wake up each morning hoping that today will be different from the previous day and then I hear someone whining and then a scream.  UGH!  Not again today!!!  Maybe it has been a full moon for oh 10 days…yes it’s a stretch but hey it’s how my brain works.  Something has got to give.  It seems that there is always one child giving me a tough time in some area and just when we come off that hurdle another one starts in somewhere else.   Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to sound like everyday is just awful, but lately it has definitely been more difficult.  I do recognize that the problem mostly lies within me.  I set myself up for failure too many days with too much on my plate.  Somehow I think I can accomplish thirty-seven things on my to do list, with one child pretending he is a UFC fighter in the living room with his little brother, another begging for a snack just thirty minutes after having finished our last meal, all the while a three-year old drawing a family portrait on the wall in her room next to the light switch.  I turn around after quickly throwing the laundry in to find the dog completely covered in mud with no less than sixty-two muddy paw prints on my wood floor.  As I leave my laundry room and walk toward the kitchen, breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner dishes are staring at me waiting to be cleaned.  I don’t get it, I snap my fingers but the cleaning fairy never comes.  What’s up with that?!?  I have also tried wiggling my nose like Bewitched but that didn’t work either.  Television lied to me as a child.  It set me up for failure.  No seriously, there is that dreaded word out there called “supermom” and I personally know the pressure of that small word with the incredible stress  it entails.  There are so many decisions we as mothers face today that our mothers didn’t face.  Yes, some things will always stand the test of time, but times change and so do circumstances in some ways.  I read a book once that talked about the many “windows” that women have open in their minds.  I’m sure you have seen at some point the picture of the light switch being an example of a man’s thinking process and then the computer hard drive relating to the brain of a woman.  Well I have found that to be true.  My husband can make a grocery list in thirty seconds, drive to the store, shop, and be home twenty-five minutes later.  If that were me, oh good grief, I would sit down and calculate each meal, all the necessary staples, scan a few grocery ads to quickly check if there were any to die for deals, on my way to the grocery I will make a pit stop at Starbuck’s, jet into T.J. Maxx quickly to see if those shoes I saw last time were still there and hopefully on sale (nope not only are they not on sale but they don’t even carry them anymore), finally get to Target and then I am like a deer in the headlights…I stop… and… stare.  Yes, I realize that last sentence is a total run-on sentence but I wanted you to really get my point.  If I am grocery shopping alone, I may not come home for three hours.  I linger.  Up and down each and every aisle.  L…i….n….g….e…rrrrrrrrr.  I love it!  The bright lights, colorful packaging, make-up and hair products, home decor, and my favorite…watching someone else’s child throwing a huge temper tantrum right in front of me and I get to walk away!  That’s terrible because honestly I feel bad for that poor mother because I know she probably wants to crawl into a hole and just and hide from the world.  But back to the “windows.”  At any moment of the day my brain looks something like this; Did I change his diaper yet?  The waffles are burning in the toaster oven!  I have to let the dog in from outside she is probably freezing. Oh no I forgot to call so and so back yesterday. Why are my children being so quiet?  Where are they?  Umm, why is the door locked, this can’t be good!  Did I pair the socks yesterday because we have to go out today and everyone needs socks.  Is the garage door shut?  What day is it?  Is tonight gymnastics?  No it’s baseball.  What do I want to cook for dinner?  Whew.  Looking at that just makes me tired.  Is anyone else like that or is it just me?  Tonight just after putting the kids to bed while throwing on my final load of laundry for the day I felt the Lord tell me to stop.  Just stop.  I heard this same thing in church just a few weeks ago.  Why exactly am I hurrying and for what?  Why do I stress myself out to get everything all done in one day?  It’s not like it is going anywhere.  I want to leave you with something.  Someone broke it down for me like this.   I have never forgotten this and it reminds me to slow down and just enjoy the day or even life.  I will never get this day back and one day I will miss these loud and crazy days.  I know this.  When I think about that I cry like a little girl.  Well here it is.  B.U.S.Y = Being Under Satan’s Yoke.  Pretty powerful huh?  Think about it.


2 thoughts on “the to do list

  1. yes. i live there. but i also do this shut down thing. and life really piles up. then one of the boys wants to eat “real” food because I haven’t cooked during my shut down phase…… yes. I live there a lot of the time. xxoo

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