a little funky

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No, I am not schizophrenic, manic (well maybe a little today), or mentally unstable (well..), I am in a funk!  I don’t know if it is the weather or what, but my mood needs to go somewhere else!  I’m sure my family would say the same.  Most days I greet my morning coffee with a head of atrocious hair and a greasy face but with a determination to get a thousand things done that day.  Lately, that drive is nowhere to be found.  Where did it go?  This week I have been just blah.  My facial expressions have been almost zombie like and my desire to even take a shower has taken a backseat.  The kitchen sink has other life forms growing in it as do all my toilets.   What has happened to me?  Every little thing is driving me crazy!  The kids have no other choice than to sit back and watch mommy go in circles.  I have sat down to type something for my new blog and absolutely nothing is flowing in my crazy brain.  As I sit here typing this, my youngest is in the high chair enjoying a full-blown conversation with himself (guess my kids really do pay attention to mommy).  My two oldest are busy being babysat by the Wii and I am perfectly ok with that for today.  Sometimes you just have to let go and ignore all your daily rules just to keep the sanity.

It does not help that the noises coming from my dog while she bathes herself are seriously putting me over the edge!  It feels as if the walls of this house are closing in on me and I just want to get away.  I did find it in me to take a shower and spruce myself up for a double date last night with the hubs and some great friends.  We definitely needed that!  While getting ready for our date I tried to find that awesome hair style on Pinterest which I had saved to one of my boards and try it out on myself, but when I put forth the effort I ended up looking more like Dolly Parton on the movie 9 to 5.  Not exactly the look I was going for but I was ready to get out and enjoy some adult conversation and my bouffant hairstyle was just going to have to do.  Since leaving the workforce and staying home I feel so out of touch with fashion.  Ten years ago when I would hit the mall for a fun day of shopping I had a plan and knew exactly the look I was going for.  I would come home and lay all my clothes on my bed and could not wait to wear them all the following week.  Today I open my drawer and as long as it has been washed despite having holes, I am good, though I will put forth the effort for a date night with my hot husband!

It is easy to get lost in the day-to-day shuffle of being a stay at home mom.  Most days the monotony is comforting to me.  I like structure and knowing what each part of my day will entail.  Lately it has just seemed boring.  I am thinking that I am just burnt out and need to stop for a little while.  I need a little time at the spa with a new haircut and some root touch up!  A pedicure would be nice and a trip to Ulta and Charming Charlie would be a bonus!  Hint..hint.. honey;)  Between all the daily tasks of taking care of four little ones and homeschool, my craziness has just caught up with me.  The other night I sent a text message to my husband to say that I would not be cooking dinner.  Poor guy works hard all day and I can’t even manage to drag myself off the couch to make him a hot meal after a long day at work.  All I wanted to do was sit and do nothing.  Apparently he felt bad for me and my fragile mental state so he offered to bring dinner home.  When he asked what I wanted, my exact response was wine, bananas foster (a fabulous dessert that in my opinion everyone must try), and sleep.  For me, those three things can work wonders!  I am sure tomorrow I will wake up with that atrocious hair and greasy face with my usual determination and pick up the slack from this past week, but for this moment I am still just blah and decided to write about it.  I think it’s safe to say that anyone with little ones has felt this at one time or another.  Probably more often than we like to admit.  I can admit to this.  The sometimes overwhelming task of their every demand and need can take a toll on you if you are not careful enough to take time for yourself.  My husband is very good about giving me my away time if he sees I need it, but too often I pass on the idea and say I’m fine.  Maybe I should make it a point to get away more often just for the sake of my whole family!  As the saying goes, “if momma ain’t happy, nobody is happy”!  It is times like this that awesome girlfriends can do wonders for a tired momma.  My girlfriends know and understand me and they too can relate.  You know who you are and be prepared for a call this week to hang out for coffee!  Anyone else experiencing this at the moment?  Thanks for letting me lay it out there…

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2 thoughts on “a little funky

  1. Girl, I totally relate and laughed out loud several times when I read this. I am glad to hear its normal. So many don’t talk about it and act as if they we up in a dream world every day.

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