little feet big hearts

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While sitting across from me at one of our favorite restaurants my husband looks up at me and says, “I want us to start a family.”  Oh wow, I wasn’t quite expecting that one while waiting for my salad and sweet tea.  We had been married for a couple of years and just enjoying life as a newly married couple working, travelling, and  paying off our college debt.  Saturday mornings at Cracker Barrel, date nights at all the trendy restaurants, wine tasting with friends, and sleeping in on our days off were quite the norm.  He had just gotten home from a business trip and had noticed all the young families around him.  Young moms pushing their baby strollers along the downtown sidewalks had caught his attention.  He saw in his mind, me pushing around one of those strollers on my way to meet him for lunch.  That picture was in his head and there was no turning back.  We had talked about kids since before we married but never put a time frame on it.  We knew when the time was right we would both know it. Apparently, his time had come.  I am sure my eyes were as big as golf balls.  I am somewhat of a nervous nelly and not a risk taker by nature.  Having kids was a “risk” to me.  My thoughts were like most any other couple contemplating this decision.  Is this the right time?  Can we afford it?  Can we handle a baby?  Will I continue to work?  You know the drill.  Well, as it happened I agreed and the process began.  Eleven months later we welcomed a baby girl.  Oh my gosh…I have never known love in this realm.  My heart exploded and I cried daily at the sight of her beautiful face.  Our world had changed forever and I will never regret that decision.  I was learning how to be a mommy at lightening speed.  Babies don’t tend to wait around for us to figure it out on our own time frame.  Everything to a newborn baby is immediate.  My mother had passed away six months after we married so I didn’t have her to help me with my own children.  We had moved when I was six months pregnant with baby number one to a new city with no family around.  Fortunately the Lord knew what He was doing and placed us right next door to an amazing couple who are some of our best friends today.  She helped to guide me through mommyhood and recommended I read what I to this day call my “baby bible” to help answer all questions regarding this little human the Lord had entrusted us with.  I bought the book the following day and the light bulb came on.  From then on I was set.  By the time my first baby was six months old, I found out I was pregnant with baby number two.  WHAT!?!  Yes, I know how this happens but I thought I was taking care of this as best as I could.  As I have learned God doesn’t do things in our timing.  We have to trust Him.  We welcomed a healthy baby boy eight months later.  Soon we would move, to another city with no family.  We were making it and I was doing my mommy thing.  A friend of mine I had met just after having moved there was expecting baby number three and I have to admit I was a little jealous.  As far back as I can remember I had wanted four children, two boys and two girls.  Oh yes, I had my own plan.  Little did I realize..  She had her baby about six months or so later and one look at that beautiful face I was hooked.  I wanted another baby.  Well… about a year later we welcomed baby number three, a girl.  Now, the stress of children is overwhelming at times.  It is single-handedly the hardest job I have ever done.   I must say going from one to two babies was much harder than going from two to three.  I had to learn how to juggle the responsibilities that came with having multiple children.  We had talked about not having more children at that point but it was still open for discussion.  We had closed the door on that thought for a while.  Well, as time would have it we would move again.  Yes, again.  Three kids and moving half way across the country was quite a chore.  We had gotten settled and were getting used to our new surroundings.  Things were going just fine..and…you guessed it.  I was pregnant again!  Oh my.  Four kids.  My dream had come true.  We were excited but knew this would be our last.    Eight months later we welcomed a healthy baby boy.  I had my two boys and two girls.  Ahhh…the sweet spot in life.  For me, having multiple children came added wisdom.  The added wisdom of just how different boys and girls are, the wisdom of realizing what truly mattered in my day to day happenings.  I could no longer focus on one specific thing, I was forced to prioritize every little thing according to importance.  I think back to what I knew with my first baby to what I knew when baby number four was born and I had become a different mother.  I do believe children are a blessing from the Lord.  Parenthood is not easy.  It is a tough, twenty-four hour a day job with no days off.  There are days I want to lock myself in a closet just to have a moments peace.  My husband walks in the door from work and it is all I can do to remember his name some days because my brain is on extreme overload.   Just when I think I have lost my mind, my oldest daughter will bring me a small note on pink paper that tells me how much she loves me and thanks me for being a great mommy.  See the Lord knows when we as parents need a little something extra to assure us we are doing a good job.  I hope to share my own mommy wisdom and to ask questions when I need help as well.  It is true, “It takes a village.”  It sure does.

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2 thoughts on “little feet big hearts

  1. It’s been a pleasure reading your blog. Tony and I went to middle school and high school together, talked fairly regularly and I am just realizing that we share something in common…. a love for Christ! God bless you both as you raise your 4 kids (we have 3 boys). Your stories resonate with me as we went GF 3 years ago and I quit nursing to stay at home and do a home based business so that our family is first priority. Looking forward to reading more.

    • Gina thank you so much and your words are so very sweet! I am so excited that you like it! I would love for you to keep up with my blog. I always have “boy questions” and you would be a great resource. Hopefully this will develop into some type of support community for all us moms and dads too;) Again, thank you so much!

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